One day, one of my previous partners and I were having a talk. He confessed to me that he no longer found me attractive because I had put on weight. Dun, dun, dun! At the time, I wasn't fat positive, I wasn't body positive, and I felt like a big bag of shit. At the time, I thanked him for explaining his feelings, and I vowed that I would "become better", and lose weight, and be the person that he fell in love with.
I did go on a diet and that was actually the last diet I went on because it was the beginning of me finding my new, sexy, confident self. I went on a diet, and obviously it didn't work, because diets don't work. I was still fat, and he still wasn't interested in me. My self-esteem plummeted, but then I found the body positivity community, and I started working on myself, my mental health, and how I was feeling about myself. The more that I learned that it's okay to be fat and you can love your body, the more I was like, fuck this guy. Right?
Eventually, we broke up. I never did lose weight and here I am a gorgeous fatty. What I wish could have happened or if that conversation happened now, I would just say "Thank you so much for sharing. I want you to work on your fatphobia, because it's nothing to do with me. How you feel about fat bodies is nothing to do with me, so I encourage you to work on your fatphobia, and your objectification of women, and if you can't do that, bye-bye. If you can, that's wonderful, because you have a new woman here in front of you, and she is glorious."
Obviously, at the time that didn't happen, because I didn't understand any of these things, and I felt like it was my job to fix myself, and become this wonderful person again for him. In reality, it was it was his job to fix his thinking because it was wrong. If you have any situations like that, know that there is nothing wrong with you. The only thing that is wrong is a society that tells us that thinner women are more valuable, that tells men that the most desirable are slimmer women, and that objectifies women. It's not your fault, so have that conversation with your partner, if you ever have someone confessing they don't find you attractive anymore. If they can't change, then kick their ass to the curb.
If you would like some more body positivity and confidence advice, then head on over to the link in my bio where I have a free e-course called Extreme Confidence Makeover. Sign up, it's 10 days and it's amazing.
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