It's DAY SEVEN of the Confidence Blog Carnival and it's my turn to bring confidence all up in your brain!
Every day for 11 days there will be a brand new blog post on the topic of Confidence written by some of the top powerhouses in the body positivity, health at every size and confidence arena.
You can see DAY SIX being represented by Anastasia Amour in her blog post "Making Friends With the Mirror: Using Selfies as a Radical Act of Self Love".
WRITTEN BY VICTORIA WELSBY
Aahhh, giving a fuck. It’s a life long battle about what things deserve your fuck giving and what things don’t.
The way I see it, society has asked us women to give a fuck about the wrong things in order to distract us from giving a fuck about the things that really matter. That shit makes me mad girl!
I’m talking about dieting, teaching negative body image, treating women’s bodies as commodities and objects.
The society we live in tells us that women had better give a million fucks about fitting into a narrow minded socially constructed idea of beauty instead of sharing those fucks given around, and instead giving a fuck about trying to break down the patriarchal bullshit.
We have a limited number of fucks to give in life, and once your daily quota is used up you’re spent, you just need to binge watch some show on Netflix in your underpants and call it a day.
If you are focusing all of your fuck giving on worrying what you look like, being concerned about what people think of you, or debating whether to eat that 3rd slice of pizza then you will have no mental energy to say “Fuck this shit, I’m outta here!” when patriarchal bullshit comes knocking.
But it’s not your fault if all of your fucks are spent on things that don’t really matter, because society has brainwashed us all into believing we should give a fuck about our belly rolls, that we should give a fuck about our dimpled thighs, that we should give a fuck about if our hair looks too kinky.
Society tells us our value is in the way we LOOK and not the way in which we participate in the world.
Choosing to not give a fuck about these things doesn’t mean you’re letting yourself go, that you’re going to turn into some slovenly weirdo with grease stains down her shirt and Cheetos matted into her hair. Nuh uh.
It just means you’ll dress yourself in a way that makes YOU feel fabulous, instead of worrying if Natasha in IT is going to give you the side eye for wearing the same top twice in a week.
It means that when someone talks about the new only dust and air diet that you can think “good for her, not for me” instead of thinking you’re greedy for eating more than 19 calories in a day.
It means that when you see the objectification of women you rise up and say “Hey! That shit is whack”, instead of internalising it and believing your worth is only dependant on your level of sexiness.
My big breakthrough when it came to not giving a fuck was repeating the expression “Will this matter when I am dead?”. 99.9% of things don’t really matter, aren’t a big deal or don’t deserve your limited fuck giving budget.
Just think of yourself on your deathbed, are you going to regret not wearing a bikini to the beach and having the best freest time because you were afraid that some cock womble will decide you’re not worth having sex with? Wear the damn bikini, jiggle your fat, don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, because you are fabulous darling!
Now it’s totally up to you how you spend your fuck giving budget, but I am suggesting you could get more pleasure outta life if you said “Fuck that shit” a little more often around things that ultimately make you feel miserable and gave those fucks instead to the things that make you feel giddy with joy.
Make the future old lady you’re going to turn into proud. Make sure that when her life flashes before her in her last moments that she thinks “I really didn’t give a fuck … and it was incredible”.