It's DAY NINE of the Confidence Blog Carnival and today Caroline Dooner is talking about food, glorious food and being able to say yes to eating it, and a lot of it! Yes girl!
Every day for 11 days there will be a brand new blog post on the topic of Confidence written by some of the top powerhouses in the body positivity, health at every size and confidence arena.
written by caroline dooner
Imagine if you just decided, against all societal odds and against everything that people say you should feel about your body, that you were comfortable and confident with how you looked and how you ate?
You just decided: I’m confident. I’m okay. I’m doing alright. I should be proud.
Your life would transform in an instant.
But we are humans, and not robots, so that shift is often significantly harder and scarier than just snapping our fingers. And the reason is: we have strong core beliefs about food, weight, and confidence that keep us stuck feeling badly about ourselves.
The truth is, you can and should be confident with eating lots of food. And it all has to do with getting in touch with, and releasing your old, unhelpful, “limiting beliefs” about food.
We have so many core beliefs about our bodies, health, our eating, and our ability to be happy and confident based on all of these external factors. We learned these beliefs through our family, through society, and through experiences we have had throughout our lives.
So first let me give you a little Fuck It Diet food crash-course, which will hopefully illuminate why eating a lot is in fact…. good.
We need more food that we were taught we need.
Especially if you are a “binger” or feel “out of control with food”, chances are you are not actually eating enough. Either that, or you are filled with food guilt which sabotages normal eating just as much.
You are either not eating enough or constantly feeling guilty for eating certain things. And you are perpetuating a very biological cycle that happens when we feel restricted.
When we restrict, our metabolism becomes suppressed and afraid of more famine. Food fixation, extra hunger, and bingeing are the symptoms. But the funny thing is, they are also the cures. Food fixation, extra hunger and guilt-free bingeing feasts will heal your metabolism and bring you back to equilibrium if you actually allow it.
However, our beliefs:
Eating a lot is bad for you
I shouldn’t be this hungry
I just need to find the right diet
I’m a food addict
My body cannot be trusted to eat the right amount
… all keep you stuck. And round and round it goes.
Beliefs are tricky because they actually have the power to shape our experiences. When we believe certain things, life has a funny way of revolving around that belief and helping to prove it true. We subconsciously conspire to help us prove our own beliefs.
For instance, if you believe: I always eat too much. Your life will start to reflect this.
If you believe: I can’t be happy until I lose 30 lbs. That’s what you will experience, too.
But back to food, the truth is: your cravings for more food, or for more carbs, are actually totally legitimate biological responses to restricting your food. And following those cravings is the way to start finding some true food intuition and get closer to real, easy, food neutrality.
So if you feel like you are a food addict, a binge eater, ‘out of control with food’… those are all examples of limiting beliefs that are keeping you afraid of food and stuck in a miserable cycle that keeps perpetuating itself.
Our bodies actually know exactly what to do and how much to eat, and the only reason you aren’t experiencing that is your mistrust and limiting beliefs around food and eating and body.
So if you want real confidence, the most important thing to do, is to find the core beliefs that are keeping you feeling powerless, dysfunctional, and afraid of food and your body and decide to shed them.
Here are some really good places to start finding your limiting beliefs:
Question all of your beliefs.
Basically, unless we are talking about a fact: I am 5’5″, your beliefs are probably NOT true. Assume that everything you think you know is wrong. Be willing to question all your beliefs and start seeing how they are affecting you and shaping your experiences.
Start shifting your thinking to “Am I Eating ENOUGH food?”
Most of us are actually not. Most of us dieters or ex-dieters need to completely shift the way we look at feeding ourselves.
Find all your beliefs about what kind of foods you are supposed to be eating
All of those beliefs are limiting beliefs. You are supposed to be eating exactly what you are craving. That’s the way to heal the binge/repent cycle.
Find all your limiting beliefs about what you are supposed to look like
Word to the wise, your beliefs will be hard to recognize at first, because they are beliefs. And by definition, they feel like facts, because you believe them.
But just start paying attention to what might be limiting beliefs shaping your experience.
In fact all SHOULDS and SUPPOSED TOs are normally attached to some unhelpful, stress inducing, limiting beliefs.
I’m not supposed to eat ________________
I’m supposed to eat _________________
I’m not supposed to look _________________
I’m supposed to look _________________
I’m supposed to _________________
I’m not supposed to ___________________
Confidence will happen when you drop the beliefs that make you feel you aren’t allowed to be confident.
You are allowed.
Caroline Dooner is writer, performer, and creator of The Fuck It Diet. She is a normal eating expert and wants women to start taking up space and speaking up.